I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
