Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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