how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
