He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My vagina is officially offended.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
