At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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