I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
