It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
