apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
