i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize