Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
