So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
