I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We got so high we made milksteak
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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