I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
