If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
