Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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