If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You need Xanax blowdarts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
