Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
