is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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