This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
