So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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