Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
