This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
