So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He uses pillows to masturbate.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm experimenting with sincerity
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
