Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
