I just saw a hot homeless man
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
