dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
