Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
