that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
