I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
