You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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