wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
