Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
