Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize