WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
