he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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