I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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