I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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