It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
