I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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