Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
