i just google imaged poop.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
