phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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