So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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