she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were trust falling into bushes
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
