1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
