Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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