im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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