I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
