i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
