I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
