I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
