if you like me you must not know who I am
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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