I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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