Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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