At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
