Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
