Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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