we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
