Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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